Getting Started: The Four Tendencies
Understanding the Four Tendencies Framework
We all face two kinds of expectations—outer expectations (meet work deadlines, answer a request from a friend) and inner expectations (keep a New Year’s resolution, start meditating). Your response to expectations determines your “Tendency”—that is, whether you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel.
- Upholders respond readily to outer and inner expectations—“Discipline is my freedom”
- Questioners question all expectations; they’ll meet an expectation if they think it makes sense; essentially, they make all expectations into inner expectations—“I’ll comply—if you convince me why”
- Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves—“You can count on me; and I’m counting on you to count on me”
- Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike—“You can’t make me, and neither can I”
Knowing your Tendency can help you set up situations in ways that make it more likely that you’ll achieve your aims. You can make better decisions, meet deadlines, meet your promises to yourself, suffer less stress, and engage more deeply with others.
Discover Your Tendency
More than 3 million people have taken this short, easy quiz and discovered their Tendency.
Whatever Your Tendency, You Can Learn to Harness Its Strengths
Whether you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel, you can learn to harness the strengths and counterbalance the negative aspects of your Tendency to achieve your aims. In these interviews, Gretchen Rubin talks with notable people from each Tendency about the Four Tendencies framework, and how they’ve found success in ways that work for them.
Watch the interviews with the Four Tendencies:
Ramit Sethi
UPHOLDER
Personal finance expert Ramit Sethi discusses the tension between systems and creativity, and how Upholders find routines comforting, not restricting.
Carla Hall
REBEL
Jordan Harbinger
QUESTIONER
Ron Lieber
OBLIGER
Award-winning New York Times journalist Ron Lieber discusses being an Obliger, how it has shaped his career, and how he achieves his own personal aims.
The Happier™ app is a revolutionary new tool that offers concrete, actionable steps to help you build a happier life. Get personalized recommendations for habit-change strategies based on your Tendency.
The Four Tendencies Video Course
To learn more strategies and tips, sign up for the Four Tendencies video course.
Applying the Four Tendencies
Learn more about the Four Tendencies framework and get practical tips to become happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative, in the ways that work for you.
Famous Examples of the Four Tendencies
- Podcast Episode 220: Why We Should Deal with Something Negative Right Away, an Airport Hack, and Examples of the Four Tendencies in Fiction and Life.
- Want to Read Books that Show Examples of the Four Tendencies? Revealed!
- Check Out These Examples of the Four Tendencies in Movies, TV Shows, & Books. Send More Examples!
- Applying the “Four Tendencies” Framework to Game of Thrones
Get the Four Tendencies Companion Guide [PDF Download]
The Four Tendencies Companion Guide includes a collection of never-before-published interviews with each Tendency, as well as journal prompts to help you find new ways to harness your Tendency.
