This year, on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast, for the annual challenge, we challenged ourselves—and readers—to read for 25 minutes a day in 2025. As part of this challenge, one item on my “25 for ‘25” list was to complete the “slow read” of Tolstoy’s masterpiece, War and Peace. For this terrifically enjoyable exercise, I joined the Substack newsletter Footnotes and Tangents, where Simon Haisell guides reader through the novel as we all read one chapter every day for a year.

The War and Peace slow read was a highlight of my own reading year. I know so many people who joined in, and loved it. In fact, my mother, sister Elizabeth, and my father all did it together, and in the last months of my father’s life, we often talked about War and Peace.

In the novel, I can’t remember if Tolstoy mentions a particular Russian ritual that I love, one related to starting on a journey — a tradition called “sitting on suitcases.”

In this ritual, before people leave the house to take a trip, all members of the houses—even ones who aren’t leaving—sit down in silence for a few moments.

They can literally sit on the packed suitcases, or on a chair, or anywhere.

There are several theories about how the custom got started.

Perhaps people wanted to appease the house spirits before leaving. Perhaps people thought it brought good luck, to prevent mishaps and to ensure a smooth journey.  Perhaps people wanted to pray in silence for a few minutes.

Whatever the original reason, this custom strikes me a lovely ritual. At least in my family, getting out the door tends to involve a lot of running around, frantic double-checking of necessary items, curt remarks, and banging around. In hustling to get out the door, people (and by people I mean me), can get worked up and crabby.

With this ritual, you go through that stage, and then you all sit down quietly. You take a few minutes to calm your mind and mentally prepare for the journey. This time might also give you the opportunity to realize that you’d forgotten to pack something important. And people who will be parted by this journey get a chance to be together, to reflect on each other, to acknowledge the transition, and to have the chance to say a few loving words.

A ritual helps us remember to take time for what matters to us.